Quotes of the Week 2001

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Our round up of topical and satirical political quotations which have graced our homepage appear here for your enjoyment in reverse chronological order. (Since 10th February quotes have only appeared here and not also on the homepage).

This page: January 2001 - present
See also:   August 2000 - December 2000

"If you look ahead 10 years, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if the people of Russia had become fans of missile defence."

"People who watch morning television are elderly, infirm or emotionally immature."

"If we cannot express our views at conference we might as well pack up and go home."

"I am not going to go round trying to make people say 'Wow!'... I'm not going to play Hollywood lookalikes."

"Tony Blair wants to be President of Europe and may step down sooner than you think."

"Hugging trees has a calming effect on me. I'm talking about enormous trees that will be there when we are all dead and gone. I've hugged trees in every part of this little island."

"One aspect of politics too little acknowledged is that besides being jolly serious and all that, it is also a hugely enjoyable game for boys."

"A Kirsty Wark work-over must feel like being walked over by a water buffalo in stiletto heels."

"He's a patronising bastard. I mean he is... I mean he really is."

"Brian's supposed to be in charge of Africa but he spends most of his time in bloody Dublin... I mean he's a liability."

"Everyone in active politics has to be conscious of their sell-by date."

"It makes life very simple actually. You could be giving a TV interview in howling gale and it no longer matters."

"I plan to be workmanlike. My view is that this is more about moving the peace process forward than moving the profile of John Reid higher."

"Gordon Brown now bestrides politics and the media like the Colossus of Dunfermline. Whatever happened to Tony Blair?."

"My wife's away. I have to dress myself."

"I think I made a batch of buns once, but they came out deflated and saggy. I don't really think I qualify."

"Since when is offensive language a reason for being unpopular? I find the language of George W Bush much more offensive."

"A diplomat is somebody who can tell you to go to hell and leave you looking forward to the trip."

"The media already attempts to assassinate my character in Scotland when I'm there, so my position is much more effective if I'm outside Scotland and am part of the voice of what the Scottish National Party is about."

"When Britain and the United States work together the world is a safer place."

"My cat did that the other day when he came in from the garden."

"I keep telling my Tory colleagues: don't have any policies. A manifesto that has policies alienates people. In 1979 the manifesto said nothing which was brilliant."

"He has about as much charisma as a pair of dentures grinning in a glass of water."

"I am so clean you could eat your food off me."

"We had a couple of hours with him on Monday and he was honest enough to admit he didn't know what we were talking about."

"What we have seen now today is the butchery of the steel industry."

- Labour MP Paul Flynn whose constituency will bear the brunt of the Llanwern job cuts.

- Former Tory MP Neil Hamilton.

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt."

- Sir Malcolm Rifkind, President of the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party, requoting President Herbert Hoover.

"Those who live by the media die by it more often than not. My first witness on that point is Peter Mandelson"

- Former Tory minister David Mellor.

"Oh yeah, the guy who came with the runner."

- George W Bush on William Hague, who met him last year with his chief of staff Sebastian Coe.

"I will work to build a single nation of justice and opportunity"

- George W Bush in his inaugural address.

"Turf wars, in my experience, are more often the figment of fevered journalistic minds than they are an accurate reflection of the complex relationships betwee political institutions and personalities."

- Dr John Reid, Scottish Secretary.

"Presentationally, Bill Clinton is a US President to die for. The truth is, far too many have"

- TV news reader Jon Snow.

- Matthew Taylor, director of the Institute for Public Policy Research, discussing Sir Richard Branson.

"If these reports are true, as Prince Philip might well have said, 'it's none of his bloody business' "

- Liberal Democrat MP Menzies Campbell on reports that the Prince of Wales had expressed concerns about the planned European rapid reaction force.

- Author Norman Mailer.